The Took Girls
by PrincessMnMz
Summary: AU. Modern-verse. Billa Baggins is a respectable heiress living with her two cousins, Belladonna Took and Bonny Brandybuck. When a Mr. Gandalf shows up with 13 men trying to right a past wrong, will Billa revert to her past glory as the Took family burglar, or will she stay out of the way of adventure...and love. Thorin/fem!Bilbo FiliXOc KiliXOc NO SLASH.
1. Chapter 1

**I obviously do not own _The Hobbit_. So, just testing the waters with this one. This is going to be a Durin-fest. (Because, c'mon, there can never be enough of the Durins.)**

Billa Baggins was quite happy in her life as a respectable heiress. She dealt with the usually jerks after her money, but she did know how to handle them quite well. After all, though no one knew it, she had spent half her childhood being a burglar. And no one knew how to spin the truth quite like she did. Of course, she had stopped theiving when she had turned thirteen and her father had found out exactly what her mother's family, the Tooks, did for a living. Her mother, since she loved Bungo Baggins so very much, agreed to withdraw herself and her daughter from the family business.

After she had done this, most of the other Tooks decided to get out as well. Jim Brandybuck got himself in the seat of Mayor of New York. (Something he had his daughter, Bonny, a skilled computer hacker, to thank for.) Rob Took went and died, leaving his daughter, Belladonna, a small fortune. The Baggins took in their newly orphaned niece and as a result that line of the family became honest as well.

Well, Belladonna convinced them that she was hones. Billa knew that her cousin still got out every now and then to do the driving for some of the family. Everyone wanted Belladonna Took to drive them away from the scene of the crime. Never once had she been caught. On the side at school, Belladonna also made false i.d.'s. Though, she was completely careful with it. No one ever knew that it was Belladonna who made the false i.d's. Even Billa had no proof. Since Billa and Belladonna went to a very up-town all girls school for the very wealthy, Belladonna made quite a profit. She invested this (and due to Bonny's hacking skills) doubled her fortune with investing.

Bonny Brandybuck was the only one alive with both parents of the three girls and the middle one at the ripe age of 22. Since her father was a mayor, her life was one of a socialite, since she graduated college by 16.

Billa, the oldest at 23, shared her cousins' traits and was small and very pretty in a simple way. This was definitely inherited from her mother's side, because the three cousins all looked alike enough to be sisters except for their colouring. Billa had light brown curls that reached just past her chin which she rued of every managing and soft blue eyes. The 21 year old, Belladonna straightened her black curls so that they hung to the middle of her back and chocolate brown eyes. Bonny had blonde curls that came down to just brushing her shoulders.

Billa owned a town-house. Due to the combined wealth of her father and mother (which Bonny had invested very wisely) she did not have to (and chose not to) work. Bonny lived with Billa and Belladonna but was often out due to her social commitments. Belladonna, quite possibly the richest out of the three of them, worked at a bar. She definitely did not have to, but (Billa attributed it to becoming addicted to the fast paced life of a getaway driver) was very easily boredd by sitting at home or by living a socialite, though she had more than enough opportunities to go out with Bonny.

This was the comfortable (and respectable) life that a certain Mr. Ian Gandalf chose to so completely disrupt.

**Leave a review if you think I should continue this. Or not. Pwetty pwease.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Nothing's changed...I still don't own the hobbit.**

**Thanks so much to "Smiles101" my first reviewer, your words were so sweet and totally made my day.**

**And Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there.**

Billa was sitting out on her back-porch, reading the latest travel magazine. Suddenly, an elderly gentleman came through her garden door, which she could have sworn that she had locked. He was dressed in a very nice grey suit, Armani - Billa noticed, and looked up at her.

Billa taken by surprise could only manage to say, "Good morning."

"Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I like it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on," the grey stranger inquired. **(Yeah, I had to get that line in)**

"Why, all of them at once, I suppose," Billa said in confusion.

"Anyhow," the stranger moved on, changing the topic before Billa could quite recover from her shock. "I am looking for someonne to share in an adventure."

"An adventure," Billa repeated dumbly. "I think you've come to the wrong neighborhood. No one in this place wants to go on an adventure." Billa made a move to go inside, grabbing her pot of ice tea and shoving her magazine under one arm.

"You've changed, Billa Baggins," Gandalf said, there was a note of anger in his voice. "And not entirely for the better. What would your mother say about this?"

"How did you know my mother?" Billa was starting to feel a little suspicious that this adventure may be slightly on the shady side. A type of adventure that once upon a time (a little over ten years ago) Billa did quite often. "And do I know you?"

"You should," Gandalf's anger hadn't entirely dissipated yet. "I am Ian Gandalf."

Billa searched her mind for a memory. "Gandalf - the one with the fire works and lights, correct?" When Gandalf nodded, Billa continued. "Mom said that no one could make better distractions than you or ocme up with a better cover story."

"Well, it's nice to be remembered if only for my lightshows." Gandalf muttered sulkily to himself.

"Would you like some tea," Billa held up the pot, thinking the polite thing to do (since the man was a Took family friend) was to invite him to stay (and possibly hide the silver. After all, tempting people is so rude.)

"No, m'dear, there are arrangements I must make concerning the adventure. But, I will take you up on your offer another time." He left Billa's back yard, leaving a very confused woman in his wake.

"Humph," she snorted. "An adventure." She shook her head as she went inside. No, she wanted nothing to do with it. She had plenty of adventures when she was younger. She pushed all thoughts of Gandalf and his adventure from her mind. She and her cousins were planning on having an night in to catch up on their favorite shows and Billa still had to run by the store to pick up snacks.

By the time she got home, it was well past six. Though Billa knew that Belladonna wouldn't get off work until ten and was going to pick up Bonny after that. Still, Billa liked being prepared and so she started setting up. She dumped the chips and pretzels into bowls, arranged the cookies on platters, and cooked the frozen foods. Looking at the array of french-fries, chicken fingers and pizza bites that were slowly cooking in the oven she decided to add some vegetables and fruit to the arrangement. She peeled the carrots and cut them up, arranging them around a bowl of dip along with broccoli, celery, and snap peas. She cut the apples, pears and oranges mixing them into a fruit salad then added a mixture of different berries.

"This food's going to last us for weeks," Billa laughed to herself as she arranged the food on the dining room table. She was starting the TiVo for the shows the girls were going to watch, when the door bell rang. Billa thought about not answering it, having not invited anyone over nor expecting anyone, but good manners won out in the end. After all, she did keep a tazer right next to her front door, in case she ever needed. Billa would never be able to say who she expected to see when she answered the door, but she could say that it was not who was on the other side of the door.

A huge man stood in the walk way. He was bald and his scalp was covered in tattoos. He had a large dark brown mustache and beard. The next words out of his mouth were even more of a surprise. "Dwalin, at your service." He paired it with a head nod.

"Billa Baggins, at yours," so taken aback was she, that Billa didn't pause to think that maybe servicing herself to this man might not be the best idea.

"Where's the food," he said as he walked past her. "He said there'd be food." Billa shut the door in a surprised sort of stupor and followed the black leather clad man - Dwalin, Billa reminded herself - into her kitchen. He sat down at the dining room table, in front of the platter with the chicken fingers.

"This'll do for now," he said, in his gruff voice. "But there'd better be more.'

"More, why more?" Billa asked. Before the man could respond, the door bell rang again. Billa just stood there in shock before the man said, "You'd better get that." Billa nodded dumbly and made her way to her front door.

Whereas Dwalin looked part of a motorcycle gang, the man on the other side of the door looked like a kindly Santa Claus. He had a lot of white hair that went into his own beard and mustache. He was only a bit over weight and was even wearing a red shirt. "Balin, at your service." He too do the head nod. A girl can get used to this, a tiny part of Billa's brain said.

"Billa Baggins, at yours." Billa shut the door behind him and followed Balin to her kitchen. When Dwalin saw him, he got up and approached Balin in a very threatening manner, or at least in Billa's mind it was threatening. She was suddenly filled with horrid visions of a gang war happening right in her dining room. These visions only intensified when Balin and Dwalin butted heads with a force that made Billa cringe and feel the makings of a headache, though the two men didn't seem to be bothered by it.

As she was waiting for the two to pull out weapons on each other, she heard the word _brother_ right as the door bell chimed again. Assuming it was safe to leave them, Billa went to the door. This time when she opened it there were two young - and admittedly quite handsome - men.

"Fili-" this was said by the blonde.

"-And-" both men said this.

"Kili-" the brunette said.

"At your service." They said it in perfect unison, as if they had practiced it.

"And you must be Miss Boggins," Kili said, his dark eyes sparkling in Billa's direction.

"It's _Baggins,"_ Billa corrected. "And I'm sorry, but you have the wrong house." She wanted no more men, handsome or otherwise, in her home, she started to close the door, but Kili's foot was in the way. She just barely resisted stomping on it.

"Has it been cancelled," the blonde - Fili - asked worriedly. He had golden brown hair, slicked back and just a hint of a golden five o'clock shadow on his faces, and blue-green eyes.

"No one told us," Kili muttered. His dark brown, almost black, hung down in wavy strands around his face, just brushing his shoulders.

"No, nothing's been cancelled," Billa said. Kili cut in with a "good" before Billa could continue to say that nothing had been planned in the first place. Both walked right in to her house, ignoring her.

Billa hurried to keep up with their long strides as they followed the sound of Balin and Dwalin's conversation. The brothers, or at least Billa assumed that they were brothers due to the similarity of facial features, sat themselves down at the table and dug in with a gusto that even Belladonna wouldn't have been able to match.

"I think that we're going to need some more food, Miss Boggins," Kili said. "The others will be here soon."

"It's _Baggins," _Billa corrected. "And what do you mean by others? I never expected you in the first place." At this moment, the door bell rang for the fourth time that night. This time, however, it rang with an added intensity, as if someone was leaning on the doorbell.

Billa stomped to the door, meaning to send whoever it was away and throw the four men in her dining room out as well. Her blue eyes flashed with unconcealed fury. She threw open the door, only to be fallen on by eight men, crushed as she was under them she only managed to get a glimpse of the grey suited man standing in the back, not even bothering to conceal his laughter.

"Get up, gentlemen." Gandalf instructed. "You don't want to crush your hostess, do you?" Hearing Gandalf's words, the eight men all jumped up as quickly as they could, apologizing profusely. Billa laid on the floor, in a stunned silence, and was only able to nod in answer.

"Get along into to the kitchen," Gandalf instructed them. "I will deal with Miss Baggins." The men gladly left the frozen young woman on the floor who looked rather pale to Gandalf's care. (They were also eager to get to the food.)

"Up now, Billa," Gandalf coaxed her. Her blue eyes slowly focused on the man in front of her. The anger suddenly reappeared in her gaze.

"What were you thinking?" she demanded. "Bringing these strange men here. What will my neighbors think?"

"I daresay that it doesn't matter what the neighbors think." Gandalf said calmly. "It never mattered to you before."

"I was a _child_ then." Billa protested. Gandalf refrained from telling her that at to him, she still was a child. A child who needed to fly the nest.

"Come on," he said. "Let's see to your guests "

_"Your_ guests," Billa muttered darkly.

Gandalf continued as if he had never been interrupted. "Then we can talk about the adventure."

Billa nearly groaned at the state of her kitchen. All the cabinet doors were thrown open as was the door to the pantry. The refrigerator and freezer were both open and the men had formed a sort of human chain, passing the food to the table. The fattest man - Bombur, Billa remembered he'd been called - was preparing something on her oven. She made a move to stop this, but instead sat off to the side, remembering how clean and orderly her kitchen had been not more than half an hour again.

She sat there as the twelve men and Gandalf sat at the table and dug into the food - pizzas, a roast chicken she had picked up for tomorrow's dinner, steak, fish, and just about the entire contents of her pantry - in an entirely disgusting manner. Someone had shoved a plate piled high with food into her hands - Billa thought it was the nice one with the hat - but she couldn't bring herself to eat anything.

Finally, the dinner party came to an end. A good thing to, the feelings inside Billa were getting ready to burst as she watched the men mess up _her_ kitchen, sit at _her_ dining room table, eating _her _food when she had never even invited them in. The shiest of the bunch, - Ori was how Gandalf had introduced him - came up to her with his plate and asked where he should put it.

Even as Billa reached out to get the plate, the golden haired man (the only blonde in the entire group it seemed) took it from Ori and then, (to Billa's horror) tossed it to his brother. Tossed it. Billa nearly fainted right then and there. (Those plates had been Baggins' family heirlooms for as long as she could remember. It was the only set of china plates like those. And she had never broken one.) But, even as her mouth fell open in a gape, Kili tossed it to another dwarf before catching the one that Fili had just thrown to him.

From her dining room, through the hall, and into the kitchen the men started lining up. Through this human chain, Billa's plates were tossed and chucked to the next man until reaching the kitchen. Some of them, even bumped them off their elbows or their heads! Billa felt like she was going into cardiac arrest as she watched the priceless dishes soar through the air. Then, when she tried to say something to stop them, the men started singing. _Singing_. It was a horrible (at least in Billa's mind) little ditty, making fun of her worry about her dishes. As the final plate left the dining room, Billa started the journey to her kitchen, mentally preparing herself to see shards of china everywhere. However, upon reaching it, she was stunned to see that not one of her dishes was broken and that they were all washed and dried, sitting in neat piles waiting to be put away.

She sagged against the doorway in relief. Thirteen grinning faces stared back at her. Obviously amused by something. Billa couldn't imagine what. There was nothing funny going on, or at least in her mind there wasn't. The grins faded though, when there was a knock on her door.

"He's here," Gandalf said, in a tone of voice that Billa definitely did not like. Though, she couldn't say why exactly she felt that way. Gandalf nodded to her, clearly motioning for her to get the door. Billa bit back a sarcastic retort and made her way to the door, as there was another pound against the wood. Huffing, Billa prepared to give "He" a piece of her mind. He didn't have to pound on the door like that. How rude.

She opened the door and a smart rap landed on her forehead. Billa grabbed her head, groaning in pain. A pair of steel blue eyes met her own bright blue ones. They widened when the man realized what exactly he had knocked.

"Please," Billa said through gritted teeth. "Come in." The man's cheeks flushed as he entered her house.

"Thorin Oakensheild, at your service. Please accept my humble apologies," his rolling Northern England accent combined with the way he very nearly bowed to her (his nod went much further down then the any of the other men's) very nearly made Billa melt inside. She would have, in fact, if the man's fists had not just slammed into her forehead.

She settled for a glare and a "Thank you." She assumed it wasn't the right language, but she'd be damned if she said "Billa Baggins, at yours" to the man who had just...just... _assaulted_ her. That's right. He assaulted her.

"Ah, Thorin," Gandalf said, perhaps picking up on Billa's train of thought. "Please, come into the kitchen. We have much to talk about. Billa, if you could get something for our leader to eat, I would be most grateful."

Billa would have said something if she could have managed to speak and if Gandalf hadn't been giving her a look clearly saying _"please don't do anything"_. Billa forced a smile on her face and led Thorin to the dining room before she went to the kitchen. She threw some of the leftovers (of which there were barely any) onto a plate and heated it up. Looking at it, she realized how disgusting it looked and realized that she couldn't, in good conscience, serve this to a human being.

Sighing, she reached into the very back of the refrigerator and pulled out the leftover vodka-cream-pasta that the girls had had previously in the week. **(An amazing dish by the way - I strongly suggest that everyone tries it.)** She had succeeded in not only hiding it from Belladonna, but her impromptu dinner guests as well. As it heated up, she also made a couple pieces of garlic bread.

While she was still in the kitchen, she heard Thorin's rolling accent and a chorus of cheers from the others. When she re-entered the dining room, all of the men were hunched over plans and blueprints. She put the dish down in front of Thorin (perhaps a bit more forcefully than necessary) and went to leave.

"Billa, tell me what you can about this safe," Gandalf called her over. She looked at a picture of the safe that Gandalf held up for her. She flipped through the other pictures, and even a plan of the safe. Gandalf held up a hand for silence when it looked like Thorin was about to object.

"It's a beauty, for one thing." she told the elderly men. "It has plates in it that sense vibrations and heat. If these plates sense one of these things, they'll trigger an explosive. If you try to move it, it blows up. If you use a blow torch on it, it will blow up. The same thing with the key code. You see how it has both a key hole and the electronic keyboard." She showed the picture to Gandalf and Thorin, pointing out what she was talking about. "The wrong key will trigger the explosives." She noticed Thorin gripping a key in his hand. "Even if you have the right key, you'll have to know the correct password or else, -"

"Let me guess," Kili's hand shot up. Billa looked at him, which he took as permission. "The safe goes boom."

"That's what happens."

"Could it be cracked?" Gandalf asked.

Billa appraised the pictures again. "You'd need an excellent safe-cracker. An expert. Anyone less would destroy the safe, everything in it, probably himself and whatever's around him. Depending on the amount of explosives hooked up to the safe, it could take out an entire building. But yes, it could be cracked. Just remember. You'll need a very good safe cracker."

"And are you," Oin asked.

"Am I what," Billa was feeling very bad about what was happening.

"She said she's an expert," Oin continued.

"Oh, no," Billa shook her head. "I haven't even opened a safe in over ten years, Gandalf. I don't have one in my house. I haven't stolen anything in a decade. And I'm quite happy where I am. I don't want to go back to that life."

"You once loved that life," Gandalf shot back at her. The others now watching what was looking to be a very interesting match. None had really suspected that their young hostess was - or had been at any point - a thief. But, now, she was proclaiming that she used to crack safes.

"I didn't know any better." Billa protested.

At that moment, the front door opened and everyone became silent. Billa was pouting in a way, and the others weren't expecting anyone.

"Hey, Billa," a cheerful voice called out. "I brought the tequila...and Bonny. But mostly the tequi-" the newcomer entered the dining room and saw the thirteen men. Chocolate brown eyes in a pale face framed by neon green shoulder length hair stared at the men in confusion, "-la."

**So, what did everyone think. I'll describe the other's later in more detail, promise. But, Fili looks more like Dean O'Gorman than a dwarf, and Kili looks pretty much like Kili.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Nope, don't own **_**The Hobbit**_**...yet. **

**Smiles101: Thank you so much. Yeah, Belladonna and Bonny definitely take the dwarves by surprise. I'm so glad that you liked my description of Balin and Dwalin.**

**Wacky Willow: I know Kili appreciates the tequila. And I'm so glad that you want to see more Billa sass. I wasn't sure how many people would appreciate my changing Bilbo into a sassy female but I'm not so good at writing the shy Bilbo. While, I am very good at sass...(too goood if you ask my mom.) **

**Hope everyone likes this chapter (if you do, you know what to do). **

**And thanks to Belladonna, the talents of everyone comes to light. This chapter is really about getting Belladonna's character out there. The next one will be developing the characters of Bonny and Billa.**

The two girls in the hallway stared at the company of men sitting in their dining room. Both wore twin expressions of surprise. The one with the green hair was the first to speak.

"I thought we were doing a _girl's_ night." She said to Billa. "Not that I'm complaning or anything." This comment was made after she caught sight of Fili and Kili.

"I have no idea who they are," Billa protested. She didn't want her cousin getting the wrong idea, of course, when Belladonna's eyebrow went up, Bill realized that maybe she said the wrong thing. "Mr. Gandalf -"

Gandalf chose to stop Billa before she could insult any of her guests. "Belladonna Took, it's been a long time."

"Gandalf," the 21 year old shrieked, throwing herself into the old man's arms. Gandalf ended up spinning her around in an effort to keep his balance. It took him two revolutions before he felt stable enough to set her down.

"It's good to see you as well, m'dear." Gandalf said, truthfully. "But what has happened to your hair." He hesitatingly touched the green locks.

"Oh," Belladonna laughed. "It's a wig. Part of the uniform. I've gotten so used to wearing it, that sometimes I forget I've got green hair." She pulled it off and then started to pull out the bobby pins, kieeping her hair smooth under the wig. She looked at the strangers, and a grin formed over her lips. "I know who you are."

"You do?" Thorin and Billa asked, in expressions of curiousity and horror, respectively.

"Dori, big forger, his art forgery isn's the best, but letters, cheques, that sort of thing...amazing. Oin and Gloin - best body guards out there. Oin's prettty well known because he uses a staff a lot in his fighting. Pretty rare to see but he's good at it, so who's complaning. Dwalin - big name. No one's gotten past him. Well, no one who talks about it. Ori here is known for being a hacker. But, there's something more to his talents. Not sure what it is, but he's in too high a demand foor a hacker. Not a very good hacker either."

"Hey," Nori and Dori took offense for their brother.

Belladonna fixed them with an unimpressed look. "I live with Bonnny Brandybuck. Everyone is second rate when compared to her. Still doesn't mean that your brother doesn't have other talents."

"Moving on. Bofur and Bifur - both spies. Bifur's known for working in foreign countries. Bofur's known for cracking codes. This leads us to Bombur. Specializes in making expolosives. Very nice work in San Antonio four years ago. I have some friends who are very big fans. Then, there's Nori. Nori here is a thief and pick-pocket. But my personal favorite of his talents is what he leaves not what he takes. There have been many instances where he's dropped something into pockets or leaves something in an office. Pretty difficult work. But, I guess it's true, no one ever suspects the janitor."

She turned to Thorin now. All the bobby pins were out of her hair and it hung down around her face. "And finally, the Oakenshields. Thorin Oakenshield, former heir to Durin's jewel company. But, ten years ago, a Benedict Smaug managed to get control of the company so when old man Throrin died and Thrain went crazy, the company went to Smaug and heir Thorin was forgotten. For eight years, he disappeared. But, two years ago, he started making calls. First to Balin, an old company manager who got sacked after Samug took over. He's also related to Dwalin. Coincidence, maybe. Except that soon after that all these fine _law-abiding_ citizens who all had previous connections too Durin's started recieiving the calls. Finally, there are the two nephews, both in training to be corporate spies. Fili - who likes a bud-light with a slice of lemon - and Kili, who likes to drink tequila." She waved the bag in her hands. "Keep your hands off. He also likes to give waitresses his number. 555-6771. You should really be careful about who you give your number to. Also, judging by your blank look when you saw me, you were probably dead drunk when you gave me the number. Not surprising, since you'd already ingested more tequila than you should have. So, really, be careful about who you give your number to. And listen to your brother when he says not to do it, and he's only had one beer."

"So, did I cover all the bases?" Belladonna grinned as she took in the gaping expressions of shock on everyone's faces. "I love doing that."

"My dear," Gandalf said, honestly. "You haven't changed a bit."

"Don't take it personally," Bonny was speaking to the men for the first time. "Belladonna never really got out of the family business."

"And that would be..." Thorin trailed off and looked at Gandalf for an answer, he remembered what happened last time he asked one of the women a question. (Not an experience he particularly enjoyed. He didn't like having people know that much about him when he knew nothing about them.)

"Exactly what you collected all these men for. They were forgers, thieves, hackers, body guards, escape artists, spies, the list goes on. These three are the only ones left who are any good, though," Gandalf looked slightly upsight by this development.

"Don't say it like that," Bonny reprimanded. "Uncle Same really can't be blamed for the whole elephant fiasco. And Hammy really isn't repsonsible for his development of paranoia. It was to be expected. And -"

Gandalf cut her off. "Yes, Bonny. But the fact still remains that you, Billa, and Belladonna are the only ones worth any salt left."

"Ahhh, thanks Gandy," Belladonna laughed as she ate an apple.

"Sho," her words came out garbled due to the apple pieces in her mouth. "What'd ya want Biwwa fo?"

"Please, swallow and repeat," Gandalf looked mildly disturbed by the apple juice running down her chin. Belladonna grinned even wider as she nodded at Bonny.

"She said, 'So, what do you want Billa for?' " Bonny rolled her eyes as she translated, and Belladonna nodded at Gandalf to relate that this was what she had said.

"Why don't you tell me?" Thorin grumbled. "Since you seem to know so much."

Belladonna grinned and swallowed the apple chunks, wiping off her chin with her forearm. "I'd say that you're trying to get your company back. And not through completely legal means at that, judging by the men you've chosen. And going by the pictures of the Safe-Master5000, nice piece of work by the way, you need a safe cracker. And Billa here" she grabbed Billa around the waist and hugged her cousin to her, "is the best there is. Or at least she was ten years ago. I doubt that she's forgotten the tricks yet. So, Gandalf brought you here, thinking that you could convince her."

Bonny sighed. "Just ignore her. She got addicted to adreneline rushes when she was pretty young and as a result is now impossible to keep up with. She probably knows more about crime than people who have been in the business for three times as long as she's been alive. Anytime there's a big crime, she learns everything she can about it. Analyzing it and storing it in her brain for when she needs it. Her photographic memory isn't much of a help at keeping her calm, either."

"What do you do?" Balin asked the black-haired girl, who was smirking at her phone as she typed out a response to a text message.

"Officially, I was a get-a-way driver. I'm pretty good at forgeries and hack basic systems, and crack basic safes. I can fight well enough to keep myself safe and occasionally act as a spy." She shrugged. "But what I'm best at is driving. And flying, since I got my pilot's license a few years ago."

"And now, I'm a reclusive heiress." This was the only part of her life that she didn't seem to care for.

"And that upsets you?" Kili inquired.

"It's dull," she explained. "Sure, having a ton of money is nice. But, I can only buy so many things. And the stock market isn't even interesting any more. I haven't done anything even remotely stimulating in ages."

"Well," Gandalf started. "I didn't only come here with a burglar in mind." His statement was met with varying emotions. Thorin's eyebrows nearly went off his forehead in disbelief. Billa frowned. Bonny looked slightly interested. The other men looked at Gandalf with some surprise on their faces. Belladonna was nearly vibrating with excitement.

"Really, Gandalf?" She asked. "Do you mean it?"

"You could be very helpful along with Bonny. I think it wouldn't hurt anything to have you two on board as well."

"Yes. I was sufficating in this life," Belladonna spun grabbed Bonny and spun her around in a circle.

"I think that's attributable to the uniform," Kili said to his brother. Belladonna was dressed in a lime green corset looking top paired with black leather shorts. She had fishnet stockings and neon green laced black boots that went up to her knees.

"I heard that," Belladonna told him. "And now, I've gotta go shower. I think I'm developing alcohol posioning from just the smell." She gave the bag with the tequila in it to Bonny and left the room, before yelling back to her cousin. "Don't let anyone touch that."

**So, Belladonna's character was really fun to write. I wanted her to be kind of like Kili is - energetic, excited and lots of heart, but because she doesn't have Thorin as an Uncle and hasn't been groomed for most of her life to get the company back she's got more exuberance than Kili. And also, since I'm looking at her to set up with Fili - I needed someone lighthearted enough so that Fili wouldn't become the heir who's always serious after the quest (and he's used to dealing with this sort of personality due to his brother.)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yeah, I'm still bemoaning my sad fate in life, I don't own _The Hobbit._**

**So, my muse decided to finally reappear. She also decided that the main couple is going to be Belladonna and Fili with a side of Billa and Thorin and a nice seasoning of Bonny and Kili. Or at least, that's going to be the set-up until my muse changes her mind. She's a fickle little...ah-hem. **

**Also, I'm putting links to the more unusual articles of clothing that the girls wear on my profile. If anyone wants to check them out and give me feedback, I'd really appreciate it.**

**Thanks "xDaughterOfKingsx" I'm glad that you like Fili and Belladonna. I have plans for this couple. Lots of plans. And Billa, well, she's going places. P.S. I love your pen-name. (From one princess to another.) **

"Is she always like that?" Bofur asked Belladonna's cousins. He had never met anyone quite like her.

"For the most part. However, she's a little worse than normal today." Billa looked at the door through which her cousin had disappeared.

"She's not really good with her emotions. She's really good at comforting other people, just not with opening up about herself. So, when something happens that upsets her she gets," Bonny paused, trying to think of a way to accurately describe her cousin's temperament. "Bigger."

"She took her father's death hit her pretty hard. Her mom died when she was young and Uncle Rob lived a pretty solitary life so her dad was all that she really had. For the longest time after his death she refused to interact with anyone. Just threw herself into what she knew best. Crime. That's why she's so good now. For over three years all she did was make herself better. And she did things to get even bigger adrenaline rushes."

"She seems a little," Fili stopped, not willing to finish hiss thought for fear of insulting the two cousins.

"Fake," Billa finished sadly. "We know. But it's better than the self-destructive path she was on before." Gandalf nodded his assent, his eyes sad as he remembered what the teenage Belladonna had been like.

"So," Bonny grinned, holding up the bag Belladonna had given her. "Tequila, anyone?"

"But I thought," Kili started.

"She was joking. We just have to make sure that we save her some." Bonny pulled the two bottles out of the bag. "And she brought the good stuff tonight. Something's really going on. Toss me her phone." Billa complied and Bonny typed a few keys and then started scrolling through the options.

"If we could just keep this from Belladonna, that'd be a good idea," Billa fixed the group with a look that told them that they had better keep their mouths shut about the invasion of Belladonna's phone. She pulled out small glasses from the china cabinet and started pouring the tequila for the group of men.

"Now, Balin," Gandalf said. "Perhaps you'd like to present Miss Baggins with the contract." Billa reached out and took it.

"One-fourteenth of any profit upon completion, that's fair. The company's not to be responsible for any loss of life. Loss of life, Gandalf? Including, but not limited to, being shot, stabbed, poisoned, blown up. Blown up, Gandalf?"

"Well, you did say that the safe you would be cracking was liable to be blown up," Bofur said.

"I never said I was going to be cracking any safe."

"She said she hasn't even cracked a safe in ten years. A grocer could do a better job." Thorin said.

"If I say Billa Baggins is a burglar then she is a burglar," Gandalf seemed to grow at least a foot as he raised his voice to Thorin. The others sat there in relative shock until Bonny spoke.

"Oh, that _asshole."_ Her voice was infused with anger. "How dare he? Who does he think he is?" Her green eyes seemed to spit sparks out at whatever she was reading.

"What is it?" Billa was distracted from the contract.

"Read this," Bonny thrust the phone out to her cousin. Billa's blue eyes hardened with rage as she read the text.

"That's it," the steel in her voice surprised the men in the group, who didn't think that the little woman could be that intimidating, and they quickly decided to immerse themselves in their own conversation.

"What is it, Billa?" Gandalf inquired of the little lioness.

"Oh, nothing. Everything will be taken care of." Bonny nodded in agreement, before pulling out her own phone and typing away on it furiously.

"What are you doing?" Gandalf was slightly worried by the look on the normally cheerful Bonny.

"Oh, nothing." Her voice was so nonchalant that her words took everyone (except Billa) by surprise. "Just freezing his bank account, giving him horrible credit, and canceling his grandma's trust fund for him." Her fingers went even faster. "Done." She looked up, a humorless smile on her face. "Don't worry. He completely deserved it."

"How can anyone deserve that?" Balin asked, shifting on his seat, taken aback by Bonny's actions.

"What he really deserves is to be taken out of the reproduction pool permanently. But, since that could end in imprisonment, he's safe for now," Billa spoke so calmly that several of the men shifted uncomfortably in their own chairs. Kili unconsciously crossed his legs.

Billa tossed Belladonna's phone back on the counter. She grabbed her own shot glass and downed it. "Oh, she did get the good stuff. Now, back to the contract. It seems reasonable. But, I don't think I can do it. You're welcome to stay for the night. But, I'm going to have to insist that you leave in the morning."

"Oh come on, Billa," Belladonna walked back through the door, seeming much calmer than before. She was dressed in black baggy sweatpants and a cerulean blue tank top. Her black hair that had reached to her waist before now ended right below her shoulders, curling to its natural state. The tight curls bounced as she moved and she was clipping the dripping locks back. "You need this more than I do. And that's saying a lot."

"Ah, the Took curls," Gandalf said, smiling at her annoyed expression. "I can honestly say that I have never seen curls that rivaled the curls in the Took family."

"Yeah, cause most people with curls like mine are smart enough to cut them off." Belladonna shot back, sighing she gave up trying to control the mess of hair.

"They're pretty," Ori said, before blushing deep red.

"Thanks," Belladonna smiled at him. A real smile, that was breathtaking. There was absolutely nothing fake about it. The way her eyes crinkled at the edges conveyed that this smile was genuine. Fili's breath caught in his throat as he watched her pink lips stretch over her perfectly straight (thank you braces) white teeth.

"I see you've got the tequila." She shot a mock glare at Bonny. "If anyone wants soda, we've got Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, Grape and Orange."

"Aren't you having tequila?" Kili asked.

"Nah, you know that song 'Tequila Makes Her Clothes Come Off,'" on seeing the nods. "That's me. If it was just me and Bonny and Billa I'd have downed half a bottle already but, seeing as there's over a dozen males in the house, I'm going sober."

"She's...calmer," Dori noticed as Belladonna left the room to get her soda.

"Yeah, you guys took her by surprise, combined that with what that mothafu-"

"Bonny," Billa reprimanded.

"Jerk," Bonny corrected. "Combined with what that _jerk_ said to her, she was a little uncontrolled."

"What did he say?" Gloin asked, curious as to what could change these seemingly charming girls into forces that could rival a mother grizzly.

"Nothing that I'd repeat." Bonny said, primly.

"What'd who say?" Belladonna asked coming back into the room carrying a bottle of Dr. Pepper.

"Are you sure that you should be drinking Dr. Pepper this late at night," Billa said, trying to distract her cousin.

"Whatever, Mom," Belladonna rolled her eyes as she threw herself down into the only unoccupied chair in the room. She took another swig as her legs swung over the arm of the chair. But, she did forget the current line of conversation in favor of returning to her original conversation. "But, you should go. Even if Bonny and I don't go, you need to get out. You're going to go crazy." She made a face, conveying her impression of what Billa would look like once she was struck insane."

"No, Belladonna," Gandalf corrected, commanding everyone's attention. "You need to get out as well. All three of you are suffocating, as you so eloquently put it before. You're all going to go crazy."

"I think it's too late for me," Belladonna grinned, speaking in a stage whisper. All at once, the Fili saw the divorce from reality entering her brown eyes. It filled him with a sadness that he couldn't explain. It was as if she had had pulled a curtain over herself and was letting herself fall back into a role.

"No, Gandalf," Billa said with a firmness, that hadn't been in her voice in a long time. "And if everyone will follow me, I can show you to where you can sleep."

Nori, Dori and Ori got the king-sized pull-out couch. Dwalin and Balin took one of the guest rooms. Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur took the two twin sized beds and pull-out couch in the basement. Belladonna shoved all of her clothes into her walk-in closet, and warning them not to open the doors unless they wanted to be crushed gave Fili and Kili her queen sized bed. Oin and Gloin took two cots onto the back porch that was raised twenty feet from the ground. Billa gave Thorin her king sized bed. Gandalf got the finished attic room and the three girls took sleeping bags and camped out in the other attic room.

"Lucky your dad had such a big family," Bonny told Billa who could only nod in agreement. Though the Baggins had had much to do with Billa after Bungo's death, they had visited often when she was young. For the main reason that Bungo was the richest out of the entire family - and they had no compunctions about sponging off of him.

The next morning came quickly for Belladonna who had trouble sleeping normally without drinking a Dr. Pepper at eleven o'clock or the promise of an adventure filling her thoughts. The men entered the dining room to find the raven-haired beauty cooking a huge breakfast and humming a show-tune.

"You didn't have to do this, lassie," Balin said, his Scottish accent coming out in full force right after he woke up.

"It's no problem. I have to convert my energy to something," she smiled shyly. "And running didn't help all that much this morning." Her hair, which had been in such tight curls the night before was now straightened out and pushed out of her face with a headband in an intricate Celtic design. She was dressed in a denim capris and a blue bandanna top. Since she was wearing flats, it was obvious just how short she was compared to any of the men, at least three inches shorter than smallest.

"So, you run," Kili said, trying to flirt. "What a coincidence, so do I." Fili felt the sudden urge to elbow his brother.

"Usually," Belladonna said as she scrambled some eggs. "I do about ten miles in the morning. Five in the afternoon and another ten at night. How much do you do."

Kili realized that bragging about his running was going to get him any brownie points with this girl. "Oh, enough," he said vaguely. Fili couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he watched Belladonna unknowingly shoot his brother down.

She dumped the sausage links onto a plate and slid it onto the kitchen counter, along with the milk, cereal and bowls that were already out. In a fluid motion, she turned around and pulled a cookie sheet full of toast out and arranged them on a plate as well. "Coffee should be done. It's in the urn in the dining room. Cups are out there as well. And there's juice." The scrambled eggs were slid onto a plate that was placed down next to the fried eggs. There was a fruit salad out as well. The griddle sitting next to the oven was filled with pancakes. A plate already stacked high with pancakes was sitting next to it.

"Syrup's and butter's in the 'fridge." She told Bofur, who got it out and put it on the counter next to the plate of pancakes that she put next to it. "Hope everyone's hungry," she told them. For herself, she pulled a yogurt out of the fridge.

"Why did you do this for us?" Thorin asked, her as she scooped the semi-solid food into her mouth before throwing some croissants onto a plate.

"Like I said, I have to convert my energy into something. My psychiatrist said I was manic. But in reality, I've been driving get-a-away cars since I was ten. Mom died when I was six and Dad decided that was when I could learn how to drive. I got addicted to the feeling of adrenaline rushes, haven't been able to slow down since. I usually run in the morning, but decided that this would be a better use of my time." She gestured to the food she had made. "I like cooking, but like everything I don't really know how to do something in a -how does Billa put it - small manner. I do things BIG," she spread her hands. "And with fourteen men eating breakfast, the most important meal of the day, I might add, I figured that I could cook without having enough food left to feed a small army."

Seeing that Thorin was about to say something else, she continued. "And when Billa decides to change her mind, I'm hoping that you'll appreciate this enough to let her come."

"I doubt she's going to change her mind," Thorin muttered, remembering the firmness in Billa's voice and eyes when she declared that she wasn't partaking in an adventure.

Belladonna touched his arm, forcing Thorin to look her in the eye. "Don't bet on it."

**Wow, two chapters in one day. I feel good.**

**You know the drill, please review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**If I owned _The Hobbit_ I would be in England partying with all the Durin actors right about now.**

**IMPORTANT: I really feel like I need a new name for this story, so if you wouldn't mind giving me an idea, I would appreciate it so much. **

**xDaughterOfKingsx - Thank you so much for reviewing again. Faithful reviewers do such warm and cozy things to my stomach. And yeah, Belladonna's going to need Fili. Of course, he's going to have to convince her of that...should be fun. And yeah, there was a reason Bonny nearly called that guy ...well, a you-know-what. P.S. What a great inspiration for your name. Mine came from two old nicknames that I mashed together.**

**Smile101 - Two reviews. Thank you so much. I'm really glad that I didn't ruin anything with Belladonna's character. Insights with her are sooo hard. Ugh...I guess that's what I get for giving my characters deep seated psychological issues. Thanks again for the review. Belladonna and Fili should be the main couple for a while, my muse likes them. :)**

**Guest - Thanks for reviewing.**

**Chapter 5**

By the time Billa and Bonny woke up the next morning, the house was completely clean and empty. If it hadn't been for the fact that she was sleeping on the attic floor, Billa would have suspected that she had imagined her home invasion. When she got downstairs however, she saw Belladonna sitting at the island in the kitchen, writing something.

"What'cha doing?" Bonny asked Belladonna.

"Writing instructions to the cleaning lady," Belladonna gestured to the two plates sitting on the other side of the island. "Eat. We don't want to wait to long."

"What are you talking about," Billa asked, still half asleep.

"We don't want to let Thorin and Company get to far ahead. A little doubt can go a long way," Belladonna told them as if it should be obvious.

"We can't just get up and go," Billa's resolve was weakening. Her dreams had been filled with the promise of adventure and haunted by a tall man with ebony hair and blue eyes as cold as ice.

"Why not?"

"You have a job," Billa knew it was a losing argument.

"I own the bar," Belladonna said, as if Billa was simple. "I don't think it will be a problem."

"What about packing." Billa pointed out.

"Already done," Belladonna pointed to three suitcases and three overnight bags sitting near the front door.

"You can't have remembered everything," Billa objected. She noticed that Bonny - who was eating her food as quickly as Belladonna most days - wasn't helping her and knew that within five minutes, they'd be out the door. But still, she kept it up for appearances.

"I have enough money to make over three fortunes," Belladonna said. "I think that I can afford to pick up anything."

"Fine," Billa smiled. "Let me get dressed and then we can go."

"Did you call Dad," Bonny asked her Took cousin.

"Yep," Belladonna grinned devilishly. "Told him that you were going to find himself. If he knows what it's really about, he's not letting on." The two fist bumped.

"I'll go load the car. You go get ready."

Within half an hour, the three women were in Belladonna's 1965 candy apple red Chevy convertible. Belladonna had called Gandalf and found out where the men were stopping for the night. "I think that we could pleasantly surprise them," Belladonna had confided to her cousins. "Keep them guessing for just a bit longer." Bonny and Billa had laughed, happy to see their cousin not faking her feelings.

"That would fun," Billa had admitted. And the thought of knocking on Thorin's door and maybe accidentally rapping him on the head, didn't cross her mind. Nope. Not at all.

Even though the men had started out before the girls had, the females reached the hotel first. It was a very nice hotel, one that Gandalf frequented often, the proprietor being a friend. The males did of course have stops to make and things to arrange but their main disadvantage was that Belladonna Took was not driving any of them. Belladonna Took never went slow when she could go fast. To be truthful, only the outside of her car was 1965 Chevy Convertible. The inside was the latest technology with an engine that could go from 0 to 75 in a heartbeat. Belladonna, it should be noted, did love her cars.

So, since they got there first, it seemed only natural that to pass the time, the girls should make use of the fabulous indoor pool that the hotel had. And if Belladonna had gotten Gandalf to promise to let them know as soon as the men pulled in that's not really anyone's business, is it? Even her cousins weren't in on this one. They didn't even know why Belladonna had packed bathing suits.

Gandalf on the other hand was trying to conceal his laughter as Thorin pulled into the parking lot and all the males in that car (Kili, Fili, Thorin, and Bofur) started admiring the 1965 candy apple red Chevy convertible sitting in the parking lot with the license plate that read _Jealousy_. Once they met up with the other men, while they were still in the parking lot, he had an even harder time not revealing his amusement when without fail each man asked every other man if they had seen the Chevy.

He had texted Belladonna as soon as they had pulled in the drive way. And Belladonna had gotten the girls into position right away. So what if she told them that she was hungry and they were walking to the little cafe in the hotel. They still managed to be crossing right in front of Thorin's Company as they entered the main door.

Billa had to admit, seeing the jaws drop was completely worth being lied to. She knew that the three girls made quite the group. She was dressed in a red fifties style swimsuit with polka dots and had on a white eyelet lace cover-up that had a v-neck down to her stomach and three quarter sleeves. Bonny was wearing a black swim dress with pink flowers and a darker shade of pink designs in the back ground. She had a white cover up with wide sleeves on top and a little gold sea-shell at the point of the v-neck. Belladonna had on a halter-top one-piece. The top was royal blue with black lace designs on top and ruffled black skirt. Her white poncho cover-up covered the most skin but at the same time was completely transparent.** (I've got links to all the girls' bathing suits and cover-ups on my profile page.)**

"What are you doing here?" Kili couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth, even though he immediately wished he could take them back once he realized how dumb it sounded.

"Waiting for you." Bonny grinned, she had realized that Belladonna had planned this all along. "You should really check out the pool. It's amazing."

"Why'd you come?" Thorin asked Billa.

"I was faced with an argument that I couldn't win," Billa smiled at Belladonna, who shrugged.

"I told you she'd come," Belladonna told Thorin.

"So you did," Thorin conceded. "I shouldn't have doubted you."

"Oh that's okay, I'd doubt me too." Belladonna said, shrugging once more. "I mean, c'mon, I said it right after I told you I had a psychiatrist who thought that I was manic. That doesn't exactly inspire confidence in any of my statements."

"How did you get here so quickly? When we left, you and Billa weren't even up yet," Dori asked Bonny.

"Belladonna cuts any travel time in half," Bonny told him. "I remember the first time Uncle Bungo rode with her, he got of the car and kissed the ground by the end of it."

"So, Gandalf says that you like my car," Belladonna said. On seeing the confused looks, she continued, "The Chevy."

"That beautiful piece of machinary is yours," Kili echoed. When she nodded, he added, "Can I drive her?"

"Do you really think you can handle her," Belladonna challenged, causing everyone to laugh at Kili's crushed expression.

"We should go up now," Thorin told the group. "We're attracting attention." Although he didn't sell himself short, he knew that women found him attractive, he knew that it was the three females who were the main attractions. Every man who passed through the lobby found himself taking more than just a passing glance of them. And, Thorin couldn't truthfully say that all the looks that the women were receiving weren't bothering him. He didn't mind the men who looked at the girls with appreciation, after all, they were human, but the majority of the looks crossed a line. Those men staring at Belladonna and Bella in that way, Thorin wanted to take and punch. But for Billa, his feelings intensified, and honestly, that scared him. The way he saw it, the sooner he got rid of these feelings, the better.

For Belladonna, he felt the urge to lock her away, protect her and her innocence, allow her more time to stare at the world with a genuine smile. That was fine, he had often felt that way about Kili. And with Bonny he wanted to get her involved, run plans by her, hear her opinions and keep her safe, something he had done with Fili many times.

But, Billa caused him to feel things that he had never felt before. He couldn't compare his feelings for her to how he felt about anyone else. No, what he felt with Billa was entirely new and uncharted waters. And he didn't like that, not one bit.

"We'll go change," Billa said, who picked on the leering glances thrown at her cousins, who were too deep in conversation with Fili, Kili and Bofur to really pay attention to anything else. Thorin, meanwhile, went to the reception desk to check in. They had gotten four adjourning suites. As they made their way up in the elevators, he overheard his nephews talking.

"Each time I see her," Kili was telling Kili, "I think that she can't do anything that will surprise me. 'Cause really, how can she keep out doing herself." Thorin realized that they were talking about Belladonna. "But every time she manages to leave feeling like she's wacked me over the head with a board. It's not that she's gorgeous, I mean she is gorgeous. BUt, the things she says and what she does... I feel like she's just a talking hurricane."

"Now you know how I feel like with you," Fili said wryly. Thorin just managed to hold in his snort off laughter.

"Am I really like that?" Kili seemed like he was surprised by this revelation. Thorin didn't have to turn around to know that his older nephew's blue eyes were rolling.

"Yeah."

"Wow, I really am cool, aren't I?" Kili's voice was teasing and Fili cracked up, used to his brother's quick come backs, and wondering why on earth he hadn't seen that coming.

The room service dinner showed up minutes before the girls. Belladonna had managed to once more out do herself. She was wearing a lime green tank top with jeans and hot pink go-go boots. Her jeans had lime green vines embroidered on them which then branched out into hot pink flowers. Her two braids hung over her shoulders. Her cousins were dressed more normally and attracted a lot less attention on the way down from their penthouse suite. Not that Belladonna cared.

"Okay," Kili said to Fili as the girls walked into the room. "I have to step up my game."

"What game?' Fili looked between the girls and Kili in confusion.

"Obviously, Belladonna has declared a competition between the two of us. She's challenged me," Kili said as if Fili should have already known this fact.

"Obviously," Fili muttered sarcastically. "Or maybe she just dresses that way because that's her personality."

"No, only I would do something like that," Kili said. "And most females don't do stuff like that. You know, they're obsessed with the whole 'fitting in' thing"

"For some odd reason, Belladonna doesn't strike me as a someone who tries to fit in all that often," Fili replied.

For a moment, Kili looked like he might be considering the possiblity. "No, she's definitely declaring a competition. And I plan on winning."

Fili rolled his eyes and turned to listen in on the more mature conversation taking places. Thorin, Gandalf, Billa, Bella, and Bonny were discussing Smau with the occassional input from Belladonna who was in her own conversation with Bofur, Bifur, Balin and Dwalin.

She had impressed Bofur and Bifur with her knowledge the previous night. And the fighter's grace with which she moved had intrigued Dwalin. Balin, too, was interested in the way Belladonna had moved from one point to another. She was very intelligent, he realized, though she did hid it behind her bright clothes and exuberant personality.

"Belladonna," Bonny pulled her cousin out of her conversation again. "What do you know about the Goblins?"

Belladonna thought for a moment and the others could almost see her scanning the information in her brain."Nasty new group of mercenaries. They have no compunction about working for bad people. They've only just started getting work beyond the odd job. They're lead by a guy who calls himself 'the king'. They'll use torture to get what they want. From what I've heard, they've got a medieval dungeon room, complete down to the racks and the iron lady. We should probably try to avoid them."

"Yeah," Kili said. "I think that's a good idea." He and Ori had gone pale during Belladonna's description of the dungeon.

"Do you know where they're located?" Gandalf asked.

"Nope,. They're constantly moving their headquarters aorund. Usually because some other gang comes along. They're not very brave." Belladonna told him. Gandalf nodded slowly and everyone could practically see him filing the information away.

"I could make some calls though," she offered.

"Do you relaly think that you'll succeed where others, more prominent than you, have failed?" Thorin challenged.

"Yeah, two reasons." Belladonna replied. "Those 'more prominent than me,' most of them owe me favours. And two, none of them had the "Took" name behind them. Let me tell you, "Took" opens doors of possibilities that nothing else could."

"We've been around for a while," Billa explained. "And in that amount of time, we've done a lot of things that have gotten a lot of people to appreciate us."

"So you want me to go up and starting sending out some feelers?" Belladonna pulled them back to her original question.

"I think that would be a good idea," Gandalf said. "At this point, any piece of information would be helpful."

"Let's go girls," Belladonna grinned, the idea of getting back into the Took line of work exciting her. "We've got things to do, people to talk to, secrets to find." It was obvious to Thorin and his company that this was what she lived to, she was in her element and was definitely a force to be reckoned with. And seeing the grins that made their way onto Bonny and Billa's faces (even though Billa tried to hide it) it was clear that they felt the same way to.

**I totally meant to post this yesterday, but I had a really bad migraine and didn't feel like going over it or finishing the chapter. So, sorry. But it's up now. **

**I'm starting to feel bad for all the other characters, Belladonna has definitely stolen the limelight. She's practically the only one I can think about. But, the others do have bigger roles, we just have to get there. So, hang on a little while longer and than the fun will start.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay, so, I still don't own _The Hobbit._ I'm working on it though.**

**xDaughterOfKingsx - I'm glad that Belladonna makes up for stealing the show by being awesome. Honestly, I don't feel _too_ bad about her amount of limelight compared to the others, but I feel I ought to at least make an effort. So, I'm trying. (That's why this chapter took so long to write, Belladonna kept sneaking her way back in.) And here's to Billa and Thorin, I have to say though, I don't feel like I'm really improving their relationship. That's gonna take a while.**

**Smiles101 - Two reviews. You are GREAT. I am so happy that you liked the Thorin's thoughts about the girls. I was really worried that I was overdoing it or moving to quickly but I really wanted to get the point across that he is starting to care for them. At the same time, I don't think he'd appreciate what he's feeling about Billa. As for the title ideas, I loved them. (As you can tell by the new name.) Thanks for your well-wishes. Migraines stink. Ugh.  
**

**SakuraFlutist - Thanks for your review. I am feeling much better, thank you. And I'm totally tickled pink that you think the story's awesome.**

**Thank you to Smiles101 for the new story title.**

**Chapter 6**

Billa and Bonny met their new traveling companions at the breakfast buffet at about nine thirty the next morning. Billa didn't miss a certain blonde heir looking for a certain black-haired heiress.

"Belladonna's still asleep. She didn't go to bed until well past two and I didn't want to wake her up. When she's sleep deprived, she's liable to start shouting 'Eureka' and doing her happy dance," she explained.

"Oh, no," Bonny groaned. "Not the happy dance." Even though she said it in a horrified tone, her eyes were smiling.

"Happy dance," Kili's ears almost visibly perked up. "Any chance we'll get a chance to see this happy dance."

"You don't want to see it," Bonny told him. All traces of laughter gone from her eyes. "Trust me on this. You. Don't. Want. To. See. It."

"Take her word for it. Belladonna has many skills, unfortunately her 'happy dance' does not rate on that list." Gandalf joined in the conversation, a smile of remembrance on his face.

"It's crazy really," Bonny continued. "She's an amazing dancer normally. But, her happy dance is...something else." She sat down in between Kili and Ori, the only seat left at the three tables that had been pushed together.

Before she could get her food, Thorin pulled Billa to the side. He didn't particularly like what he was about to do. But, he did have to put the safety of his company first. And he wasn't at all sure that the Took girls were best for that safety. After all, he knew next to nothing about them, besides what Gandalf had told them. And since Gandalf had led him to believe Billa Baggins was a top-notch safe-cracker (who still opened safes not who had taken a ten year hiatus), who wasn't going to wreck havoc on his emotions (after all, Thorin had thought her an unattractive middle-aged woman, how many attractive twenty-something year old heiresses cracked safes) and who didn't have two younger cousins who would cause him more worry then necessary (how could he help worrying about them when they both reminded him of his nephews), Thorin made the conclusion that he wasn't going to be trusting Gandalf again anytime soon.

"Do you think allowing your cousins to come is the wisest course of action?" Thorin asked Billa. He couldn't stop his eyes from drifting over to where Bonny was laughing with his two nephews and Ori.

"What do you mean?" Billa asked. Thorin sighed; he had hoped that he wouldn't have to spell it out for her. Judging by the confused look on Billa's face tough, he wasn't going to be that lucky.

"I'm not sure that your cousins are up to the task ahead of us," Thorin was proud of how diplomatic he was. He also hoped that Billa would understand that it was implied that she was included with her cousins. Judging by the angry look now covering her face and the angry (okay, maybe a little closer to murderous) glare now aimed at him, she did. And he was starting think that maybe insulting her cousins and herself wasn't the best idea.

"Oh, I see," Billa's voice was so calm that Thorin knew that she was beyond angry. "We couldn't possibly now how to take care of ourselves."

Thorin winced. "That's not what I meant."

"So, you don't think that we could be useful."

"No," Thorin rubbed his forehead, perhaps he wasn't quite as diplomatic as he had thought.

"Then we must be untrustworthy," Billa challenged.

"No, of course not," Thorin protested. Yes, he definitely could have handled this better. "I meant -"

"Let me tell you," Billa interrupted her eyes flashing. "Either one of my cousins could do more than half your team, _combined_. They have trained since _birth_to do what they do. Bonny used to hack NASA and the White House computers and security systems _for the fun of it_. And Belladonna could do anything that you asked her to do or go down trying. She has more heart and loyalty than any of the men that you gathered. And while I'm not entirely sure that Gandalf made the best choice in picking me, I know that you can do no better than with either of my cousins. And now that you've got them, they're going to stick it out until the end. And I promise you, by the end, you are going to be damned grateful that they're there." Billa's voice, though quiet, was firm. She left without giving him a chance to respond.

The only way it could of gone worse, Thorin knew, was if he had said something when all three girls could have heard. He had no doubt that together the three of them could make grown men cry. He looked over to the table where Belladonna had shown up. Her chocolate brown eyes met his and then her eyes drifted to a still fuming Billa. Her red lips twisted into a smirk, as she said something to Bonny, Fili, Kili and Ori which caused them to burst out laughing.

Fili's attention had definitely been grabbed when Belladonna had entered the room. She had paired a 1960's off-white, floral peasant blouse with a pair of dark jeans. Her black hair was being kept out of her face by a cerulean blue scarf which matched some of the flowers on her shirt. The only make-up she was wearing was her fire-truck red lipstick. If Bonny and Billa hadn't told them that Belladonna had only gotten half a night's sleep, none of them would have known, Fili thought.

She was rather fascinating, he thought as he watched her, her face. Though her face seemed an open book, she was hard to read. The emotions on her face, he realized, were only the ones she let be there. The ones that she didn't want anyone to know about were kept tightly locked in her. Fili doubted that even her cousins were able to know exactly what she was thinking. Even as he watched her hand the folder containing all the information she had been able to get the previous night (quite a bit from the thickness of it) he couldn't pick up on any emotion except humor at something that Kili had told her. There was no gloating, nor did she seem like she was trying to get praise from his uncle. She was entirely unlike any female that he had ever met, Fili decided, and he rather liked that.

Half an hour later there was only one thing that Billa an Thorin could agree on. That was - Gandalf was a no god meddler. Billa was already a little annoyed due with the elderly gentleman due to the fact that Gandalf had disrupted her very comfortable life, chock full of NO adventures. Thorin was a already annoyed with the elderly gentleman due to the fact that Gandalf had invited three _women_ to join a potentially dangerous quest. (Especially when all Thorin had needed was a safe-cracker, which, okay Billa was. But, he already had a hacker, _thank you very much_, and he failed to see why he needed a getaway car driver. After all, he wasn't planning on driving away from anything.) However, both agreed that now, Gandalf had pushed it too far with his latest suggestion.

None could have missed the angry green glare that had repeatedly met the ice cold blue gaze that morning. Since their ttalk at breakfast, not one word had passed between the quest leader and his safe-cracker. There were plenty of facial expressions though. Belladonna had confided to Bonny that she found it fascinating to watch them go back and forth with multitudes of faces, sneers and grimaces.

So, none could imagine why Gandalf would suggest that Billa and Thorin should ride together (so that Thorin could fill Billa in on any important information, _of course_). Both parties were further annoyed when it turned out that by putting Billa in Thorin's car, someone had to ride with Belladonna and Bonny. Kili, of course, had leaped at this opportunity to ride in the Chevy. As a result, Fili was going to with the grils to keep an eye on Fili. There was absolutely no other reason, he assured himself and Thorin. At ths point, both Billa and Thorin had insisted on a chaperone. The main for this was to make sure the other knew exactly how little he/she was trusted.

(Their conversation had gone something like this:

Billa - "I'm not letting my cousins go with _his_" cue the contempt "nephews, alone. I don't want to deal with any broken hearts."

Thorin - "My nephews are gentlemen. It's her cousins that I'm worried will cause the problem," said with a sneer.

Billa, very outraged - _"My cousins. _Listen you pomups -")

One very insulted Thorin, one still seething Billa not quite done, and four humiliated young people later, Bofur finally spoke up. "I'll go with them."

One thing that the five passangers of the Chevy agreed on, Gandalf was in for a frigid car ride. However, when everyone was getting into the cars, it became apparanent that Thorin and Billa were in the car together, alone, as Gandalf ended up in the car with Balin, Bifur and Nori. Everyone in the group made sure to give the car with Billa and Throin in it a wide berth.

"Do you think that they're both going to survive?" Belladonna asked the passengers of her car.

"I have absolutely no idea," Bofur said, the other three agreed with him.

**So, next chapter's the car ride with Thorin and Billa and the Chevy's passengers.**

**Please review to this chapter. Reviews make me happy, and when I'm happy, I'm writing.**


	7. Chapter 7

**No _Hobbit_.**

**EnixSkye - I'm glad that you like it. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

**SakuraFlutist - Just let me thank you for so faithfully reviewing to my things. I am so honored. So THANK YOU. Hugs all around. And really, tickled pink was the best phrase that fit. (Ask my family. My face was glowing.) **

**xDaughterOfKingsx - I'm glad you enjoyed Billa calling Thorin out. I figured that it would be believable, Billa attacking him for doubting her cousins, rather then in her own defense. And yes, the car ride should be interesting. I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint. **

**Chapter 7**

Billa stared out the window, watching the traffic. Thorin had a white-knuckled death grip on the steering wheel, refusing to look to his right. He was also paying close attention to the road. Living in England for ten years had done nothing to help with his driving skills in America. He still couldn't fathom why these _yankees _couldn't drive on the correct side of the road.

He was currently trying to think of a way to kill Gandalf, preferably sooner than later. Unfortunately, though, Gandalf was needed for later in the quest. He would have been surprised to learn that Billa was having the same thoughts in the passenger seat. The young woman was dealing with close to murderous intentions for the old man. Only her Baggins side kept her from calling up one of the four hitmen that she had the numbers for. (Okay, maybe she hadn't _entirely_ kept out of the Took's business.) Her Took side was running over possible scenarios for an old man's death.

**LINE LINE**

"What were you hoping to accomplish, if you don't mind my asking?" Balin questioned of the other elderly gentleman, who had no idea of the danger he was currently in.

"Thorin needs to realize that Billa can indeed bring aid to his quest. And Billa needs to realize that Thorin is not just an obtuse idiot," Gandalf explained, causing the other men in his car to laugh.

"I'm not sure that's going to be the result at all," Nori piped in.

Bifur agreed with the red headed pick-pocket in his native German. The piece of shrapnel that had embedded itself in his head when he was on a mission in Chechnya had impaired his language skills, as a result, he could only spoke in German.

"Everything will turn out," Gandalf muttered somewhat sulkily, not being a fan of having his plans not believed in.

**LINE LINE**

Fili, Kili and Bofur were able to agree with what Bungo Baggins had once said to his niece. (_Speed is not important, my dear Belladonna. Getting there in one piece is more important than getting there first._) They were regretting their decision to eat a rather large breakfast. Bofur, who had gotten the passenger seat in lieu of being eldest, was positive that the Chevy's dashboard would permanently hold the imprints of his fingerprints. Fili and Kili who were sitting on the side seats in the back, were sure that their faces had turned a rather impressive shade of green.

Bonny was laughing at the three men. She was quite used to Belladonna's love of speed and daredevil tactics. "Relax," she shouted above the wind and the music. "Belladonna's perfectly safe to drive with. She hasn't crashed once. Promise." Even as she said that, Belladonna pulled sharply off onto an exit that she should have probably turned off sooner for. Even Kili's grin had faded by this time, and he was staring resolutely ahead at the back of Bofur's seat, trying to convince his meal to stay in his stomach.

"Who wants to stop by McDonald's?" Belladonna offered.

"I don't think that the guys could handle it," Bonny told her cousin. Belladonna shrugged, zooming off onto a back road.

"Why'd we get off." Bofur asked.

"There's a major concert about forty miles ahead off the highway. This was the last exit before everything was going to get back-upped. Taking this road," Belladonna tapped a route highlighted on her GPS screen, "will enable us to avoid it. And since it's a back road, we can go even faster."

Kili groaned.

**LINE LINE**

The silence was starting to get unbearable. However, neither Thorin nor Billa knew how too break it. Billa refused to start a conversation due to principle. This man had insulted her cousins, there was no way she was having a civilized conversation with him until he had apologized. Of course, Thorin wasn't exactly proud of what he had said, but, out of principle, refused to apologize. After all, they were reasonable concerns, though he may have been able to put it bit more diplomatically.

**LINE LINE**

After they had gotten used to it, Fili, Kili and Bofur were starting to enjoy driving with Belladonna. There was no doubt about it, Belladonna was a very skillful driver. The car was forever under her control, they were forced to admit. (Bofur did however warn Fili and Kili to never drive like Belladonna was.) All three of them, though, they were still apprehensive when Belladonna would remove a hand from the steering wheel to emphasize a point or change the song. She had turned the volume down so that they could carry on a conversation that wasn't a shouting match.

"So," she asked. "What do you think Billa and Thorin are getting up to?"

"Well," Bonny said dryly "I doubt that they're up to hanky-panky." Belladonna cracked up at the mental image, while Fili and Kili made expressions off disgust.

"I don't think that they're going to need a chaperone," Bofur commented, causing even Thorin's nephews to start laughing.

"I don't know," Kili jumped in. "Maybe Gandalf _should_ have gone with them. You never know."

"Oh yeah," Fili told his brother sarcastically. "Uncle is definitely getting up to stuff while at the same time trying to get his company back."

"You never know," Kili shot back.

**LINE LINE**

Finally, Thorin could take the silence anymore. While Billa looked perfectly happy to let the entire car ride go by without saying a word, not even commenting on his radio station choices (he had tried everything from sports stations to country to old time to pop to Christian - nothing had worked), he was slowly going to crazy. And his homicidal thoughts directed at Gandalf weren't helping his sanity any either.

"I'm...sorry..." he had more trouble with that word then he would have thought, "that you were...offended," yes, that was a good word, "by my...concerns." There, she couldn't be upset by that.

"What?" Apparently, she could. "So, I should have just sat there and let you insult myself and my cousins."

"That would have been nice," Thorin muttered, not meaning for Billa to hear. Unfortunately, she did.

"Excuse me," Billa snapped. Thorin physically winced, his shoulders going up. "What type of person do you think I am? Are my cousins not worth being defended?"

"That's not what I meant," Thorin groaned. He was starting to hate that phrase.

"Oh, so what did you mean," Billa challenged. "Because I have no idea." Her green eyes were practically spitting sparks in his direction. This was going to be a very long car ride.

**LINE LINE**

"Okay, I am starving right about now," Belladonna groaned. "I don't suppose anyone knows of any good resturants in the upper Pennsylvania area." The response was a negative. "That's it. First sign for McDonald's and we're turning off."

"Do you think that you could handle it now," Bonny teased the two males sitting in the back seat with her.

"I was fine earlier," Kili tried to defend himself, earning disbelieving looks from his brother and Bonny.

"R_iiiiii_ght," Fili said. "That's why you looked like a miniature of the Hulk."

"I did not," Kili protested.

"Um, yeah, you did," Bonny told him. "You looked exactly like everyone who take their first ride with Belladonna driving. I'm pretty sure there are plenty of people who suddenly find God once she gets on a back road."

Bofur laughed. "I know I did."

**LINE LINE **

Thorin groaned. Why was it that every time he talked to Billa, he always ended up feeling like an arse? He still felt bad about knocking on her forehead. He should have known then that the two of them had an ill-fated relationship. After all, he _hit_ her. In no universe was that a good omen.

"Listen," he started. "I'm sorry, could we start over? Please?" He finally threw his pride away, knowing that making excuses would get him no where with the female in his passenger seat. The silence stretched on and Thorin felt more foolish then when he had been thirteen and tried to invite the seventeen year old Tauriel Forrest out. (She had turned down.)

After what seemed a lifetime to the man, Billa finally turned towards him. "I'm Billa Baggins, former Took family burglar. And you-"

Thorin couldn't even hope to stop his grin. "Thorin Durin, leader of a highly illegal quest to regain my jewel company. Pleasure to meet you."

"The same."

**Tell me what you think. Pretty please.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Don't own anything except for Belladonna and Bonny and like half of Billa. (She's a toss-up)**

**EnixSkye - Thanks for the review.**

**Smiles101 - Thank you for the TWO reviews. Honestly, I am so honored that you take the time to leave a note. And don't feel bad about taking a while to review; I took a while to update, so it all evens out. I'm glad that your interested in the whole Tauriel and Thorin thing, thought that could be fun to pull in later. And truthfully, the car scenes in the Chevy were some of my favorites to write. I hope that my next chapter doesn't disappoint.**

**SakuraFlutist - I'm literally ecstatic each time I read your review. (Would you mind if I show it to the critics in my writing club? LOL.) Honestly, each time you review, you totally make my day. You are so incredibly sweet. Thank you so much once again.**

**KiliOakenshield - Thank you so much for taking the time to review. I am so glad that you enjoy the story and I hope that the wait for this chapter wasn't too long.**

**Sorry for the wait, I had meant to work on the story and update over the weekend but both days I was stuck visiting family. And apparently working on a fanfiction while in the presence of the family that you only see every so often is not considered polite behavior. Who would of guessed, huh?**

**Chapter 8**

Unsurprisingly, those in the 1965 Chevy got to the hotel first. Belladonna and Bonny used the extra time to get some of the things that had been overlooked in their hasty departure from New York. Bofur decided to take a nap. And Kili took this opportunity to find out what exactly his brother felt for the youngest of the Took girls. First, though, he had to get Fili to loosen up a little, so he invited his brother to the hotel bar and got him to drink a beer or two.

"So," Kili's tone made Fili wish he was in the car containing Billa and Thorin. "When are you going to ask her out?" He sipped on his tequila and thoroughly enjoyed the sight of Fili turning scarlet as he choked on his beer.

"Who?" He tried to play dumb. The innocent look didn't work on Kili.

"Belladonna," Kili didn't say 'duh' but his tone implied that it should have been said.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Fili blustered. He knew that Kili knew that it was all bluster.

"C'mon," Kili's face lost it's humor. "You can barely keep your eyes off of her."

Fili decided to go with the saying, _The best defense is a good offense._ "Well, I was able to tear my attention away from Belladonna, "this sarcastically, "long enough to see you eyeing the lovely Miss Brandybuck."

Kili shrugged, obviously not caring that his brother picked up on his attraction to Bonny. "So what. It's just an attraction. I'm pretty sure that I don't look at her the way that you look at Belladonna."

"And how is that?" Fili challenged.

"Oh, you know," Kili said, nonchalantly. "Like she's better than uncle's oh-so-important Arkenstone. Don't let him know that you like her though. He'd probably send you both home. Or, if you're lucky, just keep you in seperate cars. After all, Bofur may not be enoug to stand in between the two of you and stop any _hanky-panky_." Kili's words matched with his leer made Fili want to kill his brother. Then he thought about what his younger brother actually said.

"He would do something drastic, wouldn't he?" Fili groaned.

"Oh yes, he would." Kili grinned. "Though, I'm not sure if it would be to stop any misbehavin' between you two or a way - which he would enjoy immensely - to get back at Billa."

"Are you sure of that?" Fili asked, his eyes fixed on something behind Kili. The younger Durin turned to see what had interested his brothers so much. What he saw nearly caused him to drop his drink in surprise. Billa and Thorin were walking into the hotel, laughing and seemingly like they were best friends.

"What happened on that car ride?" Kili breathed.

"I don't know, but I would pay good money to find out," Fili responded.

Right after Billa and Thorin joined the Durin brothers, Bonny and Belladonna entered the hotel, loaded with bags from the local shopping mall. After Billa excused herself to go join her cousins, Kili turned to his uncle with a mischeivious grin.

"So, uncle, how was your car ride." (After already noticing how similar Belladonna and his brother were, Fili wouldn't have been surprised if he had been told that in room 637, Belladonna Took had said to Billa Baggins, "So, did you two kiss and make-up?" with a suggestive leer.)

"Fine," Thorin's glare told Kili that he knew exactly what his nephew was trying to do.

"Oh, that's good," the brunette plowed on, unaffected by Thorin's look. "I'm so glad that you two are getting along." Kili eyed Fili and spoke just softly enough that only Fili could hear. "It would be terrible if the in-laws hated each other."

"Kili," Fili's warning tone was not impressive since he was nearly dying on his beer.

Thorin's piercing blue eyes gaze didn't miss the reddening of his older nephew's face or the raise of the younger one's raised eyebrow as part of his leer. "What's going on?" Thorin had lived with the two boys for too long to not be wary. He also knew that when Fili was not in on it, than Kili was up to something really humiliating for somebody.

"Oh, nothing," Kili said, picking up on Fili's panicked look. "Just make sure to send me an invitation to the wedding." He downed the last of his tequila before hastily departing from the bar. Since both Fili and Thorin thought that the comment was directed solely at himself, they both missed the dark flush staining the other's cheeks.

Kili bumped into Billa, Belladonna, and Bonny in the the hotel lobby. He didn't miss the embarrassed blush on Billa's cheeks or the teasing smikles on her cousins faces. He knew that they had been putting Billa through the same teasing interrogation that he had just recently inflicted upon Fili and Thorin. Yes, he did like these Took girls. There was something invigorating about them that made life much more interesting for himself.

**LINE**

Of the six sitting in the bar, three were completely at ease and three were very uncomfortable. Due to their relatives' teasing, Billa and Thorin were trying to sit as far away from each other as they possibly could without drawing attention to themselves. Which, considering that they had somehow managed to end up sitting next to each other (Billa blamed Belladonna and Kili), wasn't very far. Due to his uncle's presence, Fili was trying to ignore Belladonna who was next to him, and each time Thorin shifted away from Bill, Fili was pushed closer to Belladonna. Luckily, she was completely absorbed in whatever story Kili was telling her and Bonny, and didn't notice him. (Which, admittedly stung his pride a little.)

Very luckily in Billa, Thorin, and Fili's opinions the others showed up soon after they had sat down for a drink together. It was hard to miss the triumphant look that Gandalf shot those who had ridden with him when he saw that (at the very least) Billa and Thorin didn't look like they were about to kill each other. (Or himself, which brought him no small amount of relief.)

Belladonna excused herself when she saw the old man enter. They were watched with interest as she showed the man something on her iPad. Whatever it was caused Gandalf too sigh and glance at Thorin. Belladonna shrugged as she said something that had Gandalf shaking his head as he replied. Belladonna shrugged once more before pulling her cellphone of her bag and making a call as she walked away.

"What was that about?" Bonny's question put Billa on alert. Belladonna must be very unsure of something to not say something to her Brandybuck cousin. Billa knew that Belladonna and Bonny were closer than sisters. There were rarely secrets between the two of them. They literally told each other everything. And judging by Gandalf's face, something _was_ up. Yes, Billa was worried about what Belladonna had found out.

"It seems that Belladonna has found something very helpful to our mission," Gandalf looked at Thorin, trying to decide how much to tell.

"And," Dwalin prompted, not interested in any sugar coating.

"She's found someone who not only knows something about Smaug, but as valuable information about security systems and the like. He may even be able to help us find a way in," once more Gandalf hesitated. Billa was confused as to why Gandalf seemed to feel like this was a bad thing and why he didn't seem particularly keen on having Thorin finding out. Thorin seemed oblivious to Gandalf's hesitance.

"Well," Gloin said shortly, losing his patience. "Who is it?"

"Elrond Eldar, owner of Rivendell Incorporated. Lucky for us," Gandalf said, getting it all out at once, "he is currently in Washington D.C. Only a day of traveling."

"It makes no difference to me where he is," Thorin said. "For I will not seek any help from one of the Eldar family." His statement was met with declarations of agreement by his company, an annoyed look from Gandalf, and two utterly confused looks from Bonny and Billa. For some reason, their lack of knowledge, (or more specifically, Billa's) irked Thorin. He felt as if the entire world (but especially Billa) should know about how Thranduil Eldar screwed him over royally ten years ago.

In a partnership with Durin's for years, the owner of Mirkwood Enterprises had disappeared quickly when Smaug was taking over Durin's. Didn't want to harm Mirkwood, Thorin thought sarcastically, ha...more likely he was getting a cut of Durin's from that other worm. Thranduil was in no danger of losing his company. His sister, Galadrial Eldar, was the greatest corporate litigator in the states. No, Thranduil was in no danger of Smaug...unfortunately. He probably gave Smaug the key to the back door of Durin's, though, metaphorically speaking.

And now, Gandalf wanted him to go to Thranduil's older brother. Next time, it would probably be Thranduil himself. Maybe groveling and on his knees. Or maybe, the crazy old coot was going to suggest that Thorin should just try to _ask_ Smaug for his company back. No, Thorin was drawing a line in the sand. He would not ask an Eldar for help. Period. End of discussion.

"He is the only one that can be found that has the information that we need," Gandalf argued, "And Eldrond is not his brother."

Thorin muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "Don't care."

Gandalf rolled his eyes. "You will put your entire endeavor at risk if you do not speak to Elrond."

"Then we will just have to find some one else with the information," Thorin said stubbornly.

"We'd be putting the endeavor at risk by going to Elrond," Dori said, causing Bifur to go off on a rant in German. The only things that Billa could pick up from it was something about being burned once.

"What's the matter with Elrond," Bonny asked, earning disbelieving looks from the company. "Isn't he like a doctor and a hotel-chain owner."

"Yes," Gandalf said, eager to point out Elrond's good points and to cut off any of Thorin's company before something...regrettable...could be said. "He is a skilled surgeon. His hotel chains were inherited from his father. They are quite well known. As is his generosity and knowledge." His last sentance was clearly directed towards Thorin.

"He'll be generous and kind," Dwalin growled, "before stabbing a knife in your back."

"I'm wishing I hadn't said anything," Bonny whispered to Billa, who heartily agreed with her cousin.

"Elrond has no quarrel with you," Gandalf pointed out.

"Doesn't matter," Gloin spoke up again. "All Eldars are the same. In good times they'll call themselves friends and support you. But, when troubles come, they'll disappear as quick as they can." The others nodded in agreement. Gandalf huffed in annoyance before walking away, knowing that it was no good arguing with the company.


	9. Chapter 9

**Only Belladonna and Bonny belong completely to me. **

**Smiles101 - I'm so happy that you liked Thorin's _true_ thoughts on the situation, it was just something I threw in there for fun. And, truthfully, I had no idea how I was going to get Elrond and Thranduil in the story, until I wrote that, and then I was like, "Wow, this could work!" And once more, thank you so much for the title idea. I feel like it fits the story perfectly. And really, any time you want to waffle on, I'm willing to read. XP**

**SakuraFlutist - So happy that you like Thorin and Billa. They're pretty fun to write, (when Thorin's not being a stick in the mud). And that you like the dwarves. And yes, I am a very easily excited person. Thank you once more for your exceptionally kind words. I'm on cloud nine, once again.**

**Thank you everyone who favorited/followed this story.**

**Sorry this took so long, I had no idea where to go. Probably should plan a little better in the future. Also, my muse decided to flesh out Belladonna's background a bit. So, was trying to get her history believable.**

**Warning: This chapter has mentions of substance abuse.**

**Chapter 9**

Thorin was upset to say the least. God was obviously against him. Out of all the people who had the information they needed on Smaug, Elrond had been the first on the "_Please God NOT Him"_ list. (Yes, Thorin really did have a list named that.) Actually, no, Thranduil was on the top of the list. But, Elrond was a close second! The third person was his cousin, Dain Ironfoot. Even so, Dain was far behind the two Eldar brothers. If there was one thing that Thorin could be happy about, he thought, it was that Galadrial Eldar was currently in England, so there was no way that she would be involved. But that was a small mercy.

"So, judging by your scowls," Belladonna said, approaching the group. "I'm going to hazard a guess and say that Gandalf told you what I found out. I'll see if I can find anyone else besides Elrond who has information on Smaug." Admittedly, Thorin did feel a little bad for causing Belladonna the extra work. But there was no way that he would go to Elrond for help. He would sooner...sooner kiss a scorpion. Though, if his luck kept going this way, he may kiss it any way as a way of leaving the world of the living behind.

"I'm still trying to figure out why you hate Elrond so much. My dad has nothing but praises for." Bonny said, earning an elbow to the ribs from Billa who saw the disgust crossing most of Thorin's company's faces when the Eldar was mentioned. For Thorin, Dwalin, Oin, Gloin, and Dori, the grudge was personal. Fili, Kili, and Ori had had the grudge "handing down" to them, in a way. The choice that had been presented to them between the (cheating, lying, backstabbing) Eldar and the (victimized, betrayed, blameless) Durin's. There was obviously one right choice. On the other hand, Balin, Nori, Bifur, and Bofur all realized the importance of putting aside their differences when they could gain by it. And Bombur just didn't care one way or the other.

"Elrond's younger brother, Thranduil, _betrayed,_" Kili put extra emphasis on the word, "Uncle when Smaug was taking over Durin's. You know, didn't help him out or anything like that." Bonny decided to nod like she understood when she saw the interest that the others had taken in her response. Though, honestly, she had no clue what Kili was talking about. She made a mental note to ask Belladonna later, since she had no doubt that her cousin knew exactly what had happened. (Hell, knowing Belladonna, she probably had diary entries from all the parties involved.)

"So, where are we going next," Bofur said, trying to break the heavy silence that had descended upon the group.

"Not to see Elrond," Kili muttered.

"Right now," Belladonna joked. "I'm gonna hit the treadmill. You said you run, you should come with me, Kili." She grinned. "Nothing like a little friendly competition to raise the spirits."

Kili, remembering what she had told him originally about running, shook his head. "That's okay. I have some calls I have to make." Fiil snorted at his brother's transparent excuse. Belladonna nodded seriously, but the way her eyes sparkled said that she knew exactly what the youngest Durin was doing.

Her next words proved it. "That's okay. I have some things I have to take care of too. But I was thinking that at a jog, we could handle it."

"Leave him alone," Bonny laughed. "Not everyone is a running addict." Belladonna shrugged as if she couldn't imagine why everyone didn't love running. Blowing a kiss in the directions of the table, she headed up to her room to change. Billa and Bonny followed their cousins soon after.

Since one can only sit for so long in silence with twelve other men sulking before it became awkward, the group dispersed fairly quickly after the females had left. When Thorin realized that it was just him and his two nephews, he made his excuses before he could be put through another Inquisition.

"So, Fili, are you going to go work out at the gym?" Kili asked innocently.

"Hysterical," Fili said, turning his attention to the sports game playing on the tv above the bar, completely ignoring his brother. The youngest Durin, seeing that he wasn't going to be able to get a rise out of his brother decided to go relax.

For anyone else, "relaxing" meant exactly that. For Kili Durin, "relaxing" using the skills that Bifur and Bofur taught him to find out potentially embarrassing information on those that considered him a friend. Needless to say, the two spies regretted teaching the youngest Durin how to get background information on _anyone_. They really should have just left that to Fili, teach Kili how to do cover stories and that would be the end of it. But, now, they had to live with their mistake. Kili, thought not as good a hacker as Bonny Brandybuck or even Ori, was able to get through all basic security systems and some of the more advanced ones as well. Meaning, unless the information that Kili wanted was blocked by security measures that would have caused Houdini some problem, Kili would get it.

So, getting information on three wealthy heiresses, all of whom were related to the mayor of New York, was fairly easy for him. Though, he did suspect that it was only there because the girls didn't care. If they really didn't want the information out there, he believed, Bonny would have found a way to get rid of it. So, he wasn't expecting to turn up anything less than perfect on the girls, which was why when he did find something that seemed somewhat sensitive he was surprised. Surprised was an understatement when he realized exactly what he was reading.

**_Heiress admits herself to rehab for substance abuse_**

_Belladonna Took, the sixteen year old daughter of the late oil-baron Robert Took and Broadway actress Jessamine Took has admitted herself to a rehab center in northern New York state for substance abuse. "I've realized that I have a problem, and that the only way I can get over it is with help," she said in a statement to the press earlier this week. She also went on to say that her aunt and uncle (who she has been living with since her father's death two years ago) are being very supportive in her struggle. _

_When asked, she revealed that her reason for going public with her struggle is an effort to increase public awareness and get other substance abuses to seek help._

_"Belladonna has gone through a very hard time, and though we do not condone her actions, we do not hold it against her," Bella Took-Baggins, Belladonna's aunt, has told STAR magazine. _

A picture accompanied the article of a younger Belladonna in a New York city setting. Obviously having been taken without the girl's knowledge. Kili mentally did the math and realized that this was only five years ago. And suddenly so many comments made sense. He remembered Billa saying something about her self-destructive path after her father's death, at the time he had wondered what this bright, sunny girl could have done that was so bad. And overhearing her mention that she had had a psychiatrist at some point to his uncle had not helped his curiosity at all.

He abruptly changed his search query, not wanting to intrude any more on this part of Belladonna's life, feeling guilty about what he had read. He wondered why Bonny hadn't taken it down, or at least made it harder to access, since the article had been on a website that anyone could get to.

The next article he found had him laughing. It was only a short blurb from a year ago, but it was exactly what he needed to take his mind off off what he had read about Belladonna.

_**Relationship "Watered-Down"**_

_The relationship between Bonny Brandybuck, daughter of New York city mayor James Brandybuck III, and Ryan Traddish, son of Virginia Senator Chris Traddish, seems to have cooled down over the weekend, quite literally. Sources say that the couple went out for dinner at their favorite restaurant However, this romantic meal didn't go quite according to plan. "The atmosphere was tense" says an observer who had been at the restaurant at the same time. Another diner said that she didn't pick up on any of the closeness that the two usually share. In fact, the meal ended when Miss Brandybuck threw her glass of water on her date before stalking out of the restaurant. Someone close to the couple said that "Bonny and Ryan had been slowly growing apart, but ... (T)his was completely unexpected."_

There had been a picture of Bonny and a guy who must have been Ryan Traddish at a society dinner before the break up. They had definitely been close than, Kili scowled. Ryan held Bonny around the waist, and they were smiling happily at the cameras. He was in a suit and tie and she was dressed in a floor length, one-shoulder pink dress. Her blonde hair had been longer than and framed her face with ringlets.

Searching some more, Kili realized that there wasn't much on Billa. There were a few pictures of her at society events for her uncle. A few articles about the business that she had inherited from her father. Belladonna had gotten a bit more attention, but still it was obvious that she tried to stay out of the press. (Kili supsected that it had less to do with not liking the attention, but rather her involvement with the Took family business. (_He was right_.)) Bonny definitely had the most information on line, but it was more to do with her father's position as mayor than anything that she did.

Kili did find out that Bungo Baggins (who according to Gandalf had done absolutely nothing illegal in his entire life) had inherited much of his money. (Apparently, his family line could be traced back to the original Boston settlement and farther back to nobility in England.) Everyone related to the Took family (Robert, Belladonna, and Bonny's mother, Daphne) had very believable cover stories. In fact, anyone who didn't know the truth (which Kili doubted that he knew the entirety of) would find absolutely no discrepancies in the history of the Took family's rise in society. The same with the story of James Brandybuck. (According to Gandalf and Bonny, the Brandybucks were in the same line of work as the Tooks, just not quite as well known.) Jessamine Queensly-Took, had been a very well-known Broadway actress. Staring in _Phantom of the Opera _(Christine), _Evita_ (Evita), _The Sound of Music_ (Maria) and many, many more. There was plenty to read about the beautiful Jessamine. Looking at her picture, was like looking at an older version of Belladonna. Jessamine had stopped acting when Belladonna had been born and then she died of cancer when her daughter had been six.

When he realized that he had been searching for information on the girls for over an hour, Kili stopped. He knew that it would only take a little more before he was considered a stalker. (If anyone asked Fili, he would say that his younger brother had been a stalker for a long time.) Making his way down to meet the others at the hotel restaurant, Kili thougt over what he had learned that day. He knew better than to bring any of that stuff up, no doubt at least one of the girls being happy over him snooping around on the internet trying to find out about them.

When he met up with his brother at the entrance to the restaurant, Kili realized that he wouldn't have a chance to talk about what he had learned with Fili. Thorin's face was one of business and the brothers knew that was _all_ that was being discussed at the meal. Fili was fairly glad about this though, after all, how many comments could his brother make about him and Belladonna. (Not that there was anything going on with him and Belladonna.)

**Just wanted to get this in here. Belladonna is one of the names of deadly nightshade, (from the name - one can guess that it's a pretty posionous plant), a very beautiful (but fatal) flower. So, for the fun of it, I made Bonny's mother's name Daphne. Which is also a very dangerous (but beautiful) plant. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I don't anything. Even Belladonna and Bonny have declared their independence.**

**I also want to apologize for the long wait. I lost my inspiration for the story, (I have since made a better plan) and apparently during summer I do not know the meaning of the word "_update"_. However, know that school's started, my updates should be more regular. For anyone who is still reading this, I love you forever. Really. FOREVER.**

**markstn41 - Thanks for the review. Reviews make me ECSTATIC. **

**SakuraFlutist - I just couldn't resist giving Kili some sneaky qualities. And it's going to become more important later. Thank you so much for reviewing this regularly, you have no idea how great that makes me feel. Thank you so much for your compliment. And yes, I manage to keep my friends laughing. (Though, I'm not sure that's always a good thing. :P****) And here's some Thorin/Billa for you. **

**Smiles101 - No problem about the wait. Honestly, I am just so happy that you like this story enough to keep reviewing. I'm glad that you liked the facts, I figured that I could have some fun with the feelings between the dwarves and the elves. Hope you like this chapter.  
**

"So, Thorin's pretty cute, don't ya think?" Belladonna was talking to Bonny, making sure that Billa could hear her. And Billa definitely started listening from where she was doing her hair in the bathroom.

"I guess," came Bonny's slower reply, who wasn't quite as merciless as Belladonna when it came to Billa's love-life.

"C'mon. Those blue eyes," Belladonna made a sound of approval. "They go so well with Billa's. Don't you agree?"

"well," Billa said, coming out of the bathroom. "I'm not the only one who's interested in a blue eyed Durin."

"And they are fantastic blue eyes." Belladona agreed. "I wonder if its a common trait from where they're from or if it's just in the family."

Bonny rolled her own green eyes. "One day, the fact that you pick your boyfriends based on their eye color is going to get you into trouble."

Belladonna shrugged. "Maybe. I only want my kids to be attractive."

"Belladonna Primula Took," Bonny and Billa said at the exact same.

Instead of replying to her cousins' joint statement, Belladonna chose to criticize her older cousin's clothing choice. "Is that what you're wearing?"

"So it would appear," Bonny said drily.

"What's wrong with it?" Billa asked, looking down at her dark was heans and checkered pale green and white button down.

"Nothing," Belladonna said as she got off the bed and started going through the bags. "Except with the dorky shoes, boring hairstyle, minimum amount of make-up and lack of jewelry, you look like grandma ... on one of her bad days."

"And instead I should look like," Billa trailed off, almost missing the camisole that Belladonna had thrown her way.

"The three F's," Belladonna rolled her eyes at Billa's blank look. "Fun. Flirty. Fantastic. We're going to have Thorin forget everything that has to do with Smaug and anything to do with that stuff. He's going to lose his brain when you walk off of that elevator."

"Why would we want that?" Billa asked, looking somewhat worriedly at Belladonna. "I'm putting you on a strict no romance novel ban."

Belladonna rolled her blue-eyeshadowed eyes at her cousin, and got to work transforming Billa from a "grandmother" to a "fun, flirty, and fantastic seductress" (That was the only word that Billa could match with Belladonna's description.) With Belladonna taking care of the clothing and make-up and Bonny doing Billa's hair, the girls were ready to go pretty quickly.

Belladonna used the mirror in the elevator to fluff up her bouncing Took curls. Since she had decided to skip straightening her hair after her shower, the barely dry locks were in the tight ringlets that were common to her family. A blue headband was fighting a losing battle trying to keep the black curls out of her pale face. With her turquoise camisole underneath the buttoned up white bolero jacket, she definitely thought she had fulfilled her requirements of the F's. She was annoyed when the only blue shoes she could find were her ballet flats that emphasized her height, or lack thereof. But, since she refused to mess up her color scheme, she was stuck with those.

She had reluctantly agreed that Billa's hair was fantastic enough when the Baggins girl refused to let Bonny do anymore after the brunette curls had been blowed-dried to the wind-blown unruly curls that Billa had spent half an hour brushing out and then the brown locks were being held back with sparkly pink bobby pins. Bonny had ignored Billa's complaints of, "I look like Trixie Belden."

"Sure you do, if Trixie Belden had worked in a -"

"If you finish that sentence, I will knock you out, tie you up and send you back to New York in a heartbeat," Billa said with red cheeks.

"Honestly," Belladonna said, her picture of innocence ruined by a truly wicked grin. "I have no clue what you think I was going to say. And I'm not sure if I want to know. What do you think, Bonny?"

"There is no way that I am getting involved. However, I do think that we should get downstairs if we want dinner." Bonny said, pushing her two cousins out the door. Her green dress flared out a couple inches above her knees and paired with her white heels made her the most reasonably dressed out of the three girls. Or at least in Billa's opinion. Belladonna attracted attention no matter what she was wearing and dressed in bright turquoise, her short white sweater and the tight jeans was no exception.

And in all honesty, Billa thought that she looked ridiculous. With a short denim short and heeled flip-flops, she was showing more leg than she was entirely comfortable with. And that was just her bottom half. Belladonna had replaced Billa's green checkered shirt for a pink one. And then promptly refused to let Billa do any more buttons than the single middle one, making her reveal the white camisole underneath. Needless to say, Billa felt closer to twelve than her twenty-three years.

"They're not going to start without us." Belladonna said confidently. She held up a manilla folder, and waved it around. "Thorin is going to want this to much."

"I thought all the work that we put into Billa," (Billa's sarcastic, _Thanks, Bonny_ was ignored), "was to make him forget about that."

"It is," Belladonna grinned, "but this will be so much more interesting. Seeing the two passions of Thorin's life warring for his attention." She sighed dramatically and placed her hand over her heart.

"I am totally agreeing on the no romance novel ban for you," Bonny told her younger cousin.

"And this will be a way to see that all of our hard work paid off," Belladonna continued as if she had never been interrupted. "Trust me Billa," she threw her arms around her cousin and hugged her, "you're a total knock-out."

"I have to agree with Belladonna," Bonny pushed the elevator button for the lobby, "you look great."

"Thanks, guys," Billa said, not at all as confident as her two cousins. Not being as confident as Belladonna was something that she was used to. Belladonna, for all her other issues, was entirely happy in her own body. Billa briefly wondered if it had something to do with the longer relationship that she had with her own beautiful mother. After all, when your mother is still turning heads in her forties, you do feel like you have some pretty high standards to live up to.

"Now, let's make 'em run 'round for us," Belladonna gave a seductive smoulder to her cousins before bursting into laughter along with the two of them.

"Promise me that you'll never do that again," Billa gasped out. Bonny nodded her agreement, unable to speak.

"Was it that bad?" Belladonna mock-pouted, before losing the expression to another grin.

The elevator doors slid open as Billa and Bonny both nodded furiously. Belladonna linked her arms through her two cousins and pulled the still giggling girls out of the box. "You're horrible for my ego. You know that? I thought that I did a good job."

"A good job at what?" Fili asked, as him, his brother, and Ori.

Belladonna threw a mischievious look at her two cousins before turning back to the three males. "Just tell me how I do okay." Neither Billa nor Bonny could recover in time to save the boys as Belladonna arranged her face in an expression that would have made any actress from the twenties proud, lowered her voice, and whispered, as she detangled herself from her cousins' arms, and placed one hand over her chest. "What do you say, you and I get out of here, handsome."

Ori and Fili both turned bright red. The elder Durin tried to stammer out a reply but could force his voice to work and Kili laughed even harder than Billa and Bonny. Belladonna abruptly straightened up out of her seductive slouch, grinning self-deprecatingly, "Okay, you were right girls. I've got to work on that." She moved away, hooking her arms through Kili and Ori's arms. "Now tell me, have either of you checked out the menu, yet?"

"Why don't I think that it's because she was bad at the impression that Fili Durin couldn't speak," Bonny whispered into Billa's ear as they trailed along behind the said heir, who was following the three in front.

"I can't imagine why," Billa laughed back, remembering Fili's exact expression when Belladonna had pulled her act. It hadn't been the expression of someone who hadn't liked the show. "You'd think that someone who looks like that would know how to talk to a woman," Billa continued.

"What?" she asked when her cousin cracked up.

"Look at his uncle," Bonny responded. "It's a miracle he's able to carry on a decent conversation with a woman related to a man like that."

"Bonny," Billa reprimanded, looking around to make sure that none of the males heard her cousin.;

"It's true." Bonny defended herself, making Billa start laughing again at how incredibly alike to Belladonna Bonny sounded.

"Ah, Mr. Thorin," Belladonna laughingly removed her arms from her escorts' and handed the folder she had carried down to him. "I have found some extra information. I'm expecting more information tomorrow."

Thorin resisted telling her _Not an option _as he took the folder from her and said, "Thank you, Belladonna."

Belladonna's grin grew even more as if she knew exactly what Thorin was thinking, a feeling that he experienced often when dealing with Belladonna and not one that he particularly enjoyed. "No problem. I hope the results are slightly more favorable then last times."

Thorin only had time to offer her a pained smile before Billa and Bonny entered the room - but more importantly Billa. Belladonna and Bonny shared a grin, and Bonny leaned over to whisper _Told ya so _into her cousin's ear. Billa, having been trained by a Took, was able to get a glance at Thorin without his realizing that she was looking at him. Her face turned a faint red at the intensity of his gaze.

"I'm sure that has nothing to do with me."

"Of course it doesn't," Bonny mocked. But on seeing her cousin's discomfort decided to change the topic. "What would you say about turning the tables on Belladonna."

"How?" Billa was definitely eager to dish out a little payback. She loved her youngest cousin dearly but she still had a bit of the Tookish streak of mischief that seemed to have manifested itself the most in Belladonna.

"Just a thought right, but don't you agree that Fili's going to definitely need some help getting Belladonna." Bonny's expression was completely innocent.

Billa grinned in response. "Yes. Yes, I do."

**I wanted to get this up sooner rather than later so, here you go. Also, I just finished reading the _Mortal Instruments _and _Infernal Devices_ series. If anyone wants to talk about them please pm me. I need to get all the feels out of my system.**

**Please review because reviews make me happy and being happy is a great feeling. XD**


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